We live in a world that is not easy to feel successful in. We are constantly being judged by the wrong qualities and measures. As a result, we are far too hard on ourselves. We live with an internal dialogue that is often far more critical than it is praising. We take stumbles to our core, attaching them to who we are so deeply, that they become our yardstick for whether or not we are a good person.
Everything ends. The parts of your life that you love and the parts of your life that cause you great discomfort. So how do you reconcile this? How do you come to terms with both sides of life’s coin?
This simple experience showed me how much our efforts to control the flow and outcomes of situations can cause us stress. The reason for this is simple: when we try and control how something goes, we immediately put expectations on its outcome and, by doing this, we set ourselves up for either succeeding or failing. We build a wall made up of some arbitrary standard against which we measure our performance against and, as such, we can either win or lose, succeed or fail. Think about something in your life that you are currently fighting against? What would it look like if you loosened your grip on the reigns and just allowed?
As a young child, if you get told, whether directly or subtly, that expressing who you are in a certain way is wrong, what message is that communicating to you? And, furthermore, what behaviors do you then adopt in order to self-correct?
And how I am changing it for good It’s 5:50am when my alarm goes off. It startles me; reminding me once again to finally try and figure out how to get the volume down. I roll over, creatively coming up with all sorts of reasons why I deserve to sleep in this morning. And then it comes flooding back… Images of the ice cream I decided to eat last night right before going to bed. The slice of bread with almond butter I thought was an acceptable choice at 9pm. Or, if it was a particularly bad night, the full pizza I consumed despite my body telling me that I was full after the 4th slice. It’s like a steamroller …
“When you are beaming with light, that’s the best way to help someone with their darkness.” On this episode, I talk to fellow South African and friend, Lee Buckton. With spirituality, wellness, and music at the front of his life, Lee is always seeking. In fact, this curious nature brought him across the Atlantic and to Atlanta where he runs his own, thriving dog training business. We talk about how curiosity and continually seeking helps you to grow and discover your true self. He shares the importance and meaning around staying in alignment with your vibrational set point and how to manage difficult emotions. Through his insights and efforts, Lee has found a way to always return to happiness and …
On the show this week, I am joined by professional stuntwoman and deep thinking yogini, Sadiqua Bynum. Sadiqua is a former UCLA gymnast whose aspirations are to inspire and encourage others to see the light that is inside of them and express the ways in which individuality should be celebrated as this allows us to figure out who we really are. We explore the journey she took in uncovering who she really is, the questions she had to answer, and perceptions she had to extinguish. It wasn’t always a simple matter of self-reflection, but she realized that by doing the work, making some mistakes, and allowing herself opportunities to learn, there is so much to gain. We also talk about …
Every time you say yes to doing something, you are saying no to another. And, is this “no” an acceptable sacrifice?
Take the quiz now! Knowing how to fill your cup is so helpful in managing stress and avoiding burnout. Typically, we only incorporate self-care in response to a crisis, suddenly feeling the need to give ourselves some long overdue TLC. A better approach however would be to include self-care practices into our daily/weekly life so that we never reach the stage of depletion. Once you know your self-care style, you can begin to design a self-care routine that is easy to maintain. That way, when the stressful season arrives, you are better prepared for it and it doesn’t leave you feeling depleted. Take the short quiz now.
In case you didn’t catch last week’s episode, this is the new and slightly different Wholistic Joy Podcast. It is self-reflection on the go: real moments, real stories, real life. I keep things raw, unedited, and, as I said, real. In this episode I talk about how hard it is to do the things we know are good for us, like exercising, eating healthy food, and other acts of self care. I then go on to discuss my favorite night out – the SSB night in – and bring up the yogi principle of brahmacharya, or moderation. Moderation sounds pretty boring, I know, but living life moderately may actually be a significant key to living a life of peace and …